I have been avoiding a lot of things for awhile now. While I can rightfully chalk it up to a bunch of exterior problems (the dogs, Jim being away, a new love interest, etc.) the truth is that I just have not had the energy to commit to anything outside of my day-to-day lately. My lifestyle, along with my recent bout of [love] have handicapped me. Or, as my friend Chris would say: I am in a state of malaise.
To speak of the devil, while contradicting my last statement, I have been in a magnificent mood lately. This is thanks to the aforementioned bout of [love]. I say [love] because I am scared. I recently gave up on the idea of "love" entirely.
With divorce rates as high as they are here, looking into other cultures which either view marriage as a joke or have no concept of it at all, and losing what I thought was the love of my life to some invalid(s), I came to the sobering conclusion that love is much of a fairytale as Santa Claus.
I suppose such is life: a battle of ups and downs, a story of opposing forces (just like Star Wars). Though, it's not always about good and evil. Sometimes it's about me and you. And we both have good and evil inside of us; so essentially we are battling ourselves, our ids and our egos. Which is about as retarded as it gets.
Why, as humans, do we hold back from happiness? Why are we so insecure? Why are we so afraid of life? It must be that we have become so comfortable with death. We no longer fear death, so we must fear life. Epic fail.