Friday, July 17, 2009

Malaise & Magnificence

I have been avoiding a lot of things for awhile now. While I can rightfully chalk it up to a bunch of exterior problems (the dogs, Jim being away, a new love interest, etc.) the truth is that I just have not had the energy to commit to anything outside of my day-to-day lately. My lifestyle, along with my recent bout of [love] have handicapped me. Or, as my friend Chris would say: I am in a state of malaise.

To speak of the devil, while contradicting my last statement, I have been in a magnificent mood lately. This is thanks to the aforementioned bout of [love]. I say [love] because I am scared. I recently gave up on the idea of "love" entirely.

With divorce rates as high as they are here, looking into other cultures which either view marriage as a joke or have no concept of it at all, and losing what I thought was the love of my life to some invalid(s), I came to the sobering conclusion that love is much of a fairytale as Santa Claus.

I suppose such is life: a battle of ups and downs, a story of opposing forces (just like Star Wars). Though, it's not always about good and evil. Sometimes it's about me and you. And we both have good and evil inside of us; so essentially we are battling ourselves, our ids and our egos. Which is about as retarded as it gets.

Why, as humans, do we hold back from happiness? Why are we so insecure? Why are we so afraid of life? It must be that we have become so comfortable with death. We no longer fear death, so we must fear life. Epic fail.


willy said... a bit drunkie, so this may be out of sorts. but here goes.

Love, while fairy-taleish does all depends on your perspective/definition. In my opinion, love is the combination of Infatuation, Lust, and Comfort-ability. A person "in love" Is infatuated with the other, they lust in a sexual manner, and are comfortable to eachothers mannerisms.

that being said however, that last part, tends to be the downfall of a portion of couples married/non-married. You get set in your ways and the person your with, theres no need for adventure, for risk, its a safe bet to stay at home. but there-in lies the downside in humanity. Theres always an upside, theres always a downside, but heres the del-facto. (i know bullshitting is soo much fun :P), total happiness, is happiness in one's self, spite the opinions of others. who the fuck cares if your eating dirt, it makes you happy. mud pie that shit to death. thats much like the problem with love in most people. you settle into ignoring the things that make you happy. However comfort-ability is not a bad thing, not at all. its the safe zone, you dont get too excited, but you dont risk the option to sit in a different spot on the couch, but you stay in the ass-groove. now im not sayin we should all just sleep around, indulging our whims, though i am willing to fill in any vacancy. ooh la la. but if you allow yourself to fall into that comfort zone, you allow yourself to negate complete happiness. but you dont break even. and thats why the lot of modern people are okay with things as they are. So please, do what you enjoy, even if thats picking your nose and seeing if you can flick it 30 meters, if you find a person with the same type of mentality that allows for such an activity, you keep it going...i guess what im trying to say, is spend your time with eachother in the way that makes you realize, you can loose that other, so you strive forth to enjoy it all the best that you can....or else you've made an ass-grove. and who wants to sit an a chair with an ass-grove thats not their own.

this gnome is telling me im ranting too much so ima shut up. :)

willy said...

oh yeah. paragraph 2....the point is, that even though it may be a negative effect of the loss...all it does is allow you to appreciate life that much more. yes itll suck, but youll adapt, its what humans do. and thats why its bad to fall into comfort-ability

Noah said...

You know Santa Claus and that he does exist. He's punched you. Therefore love exists.