25 things Facebook told me to write...

So, after being tagged a billion and a half times with this Facebook chain letter of sorts, I decided it would make a decent blog entry. I guess if I tag you you have to do the same... sorry if I tag you and you've already done this.

25 Things

I. I believe in a higher power, but do not subscribe to any religion.

II. I was born Catholic, though never confirmed. I respect the religion and occasionally attend mass, though I am more open to Eastern religion/thought.

III. I've been arrested more than once.

IV. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, both of which still get to me from time to time.

V. My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July.

VI. Though I have new found faith in this country, I am still more proud to be human than an "American."

VII. I show everyone respect; no matter race, religion, creed, color, sexual preference, gender, age, physical or mental ability, if you are a fellow human, you deserve respect. If you show me equal respect in return I like you, and I will not do you wrong. Should you not show me respect, I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

VIII. As far as my future is concerned, it's just a continuation of my present. I live everyday as if it were my last, but my dreams take place in Neverneverland.

IX. I used to hate Sundays, now I just hate sunny days.

X. My biggest pet peeve is ignorance. This occurs on multiple levels. I can not stand when people are oblivious to the world around them. I also can not stand being ignored. For instance, if I send you a text message, please respond!

XI. The Beatles are overrated. So is every "Pirates" movie and the latest "Batman." I was born and raised in Chicago (suburbs) and I am a Packers fan. I would rather spend a lifetime in Alaska than a day at the beach. Also, I hate cats (most of them). Deal with it.

XII. My grandma once won $150,000 at a casino. She taught me how to gamble.

XIII. I will FOREVER be a Cubs fan... to the very last out.

XIV. I enjoy the show "Gossip Girl"

XV. I was kicked out of my house when I was 18 (because I did laundry too often). It was also the day before I started college.

XVI. I blame my parents for a lot of things, and society for even more.

XVII. I heart Phillip Anthony Casella... almost in a gay way, almost. I also have man crushes on the following dudes: Ryan Peters, Noah Curtis, Mike Wilson, Dan Krall, Bill Douglas, Matthew McConaughey (alright, alright, alright), Nick DiGilio, Ryan Adams, Chris Davies, the Koolaid guy, Barrack Obama, Noam Chomsky, Conan O'Brien, Britt and Jermaine, and six of the seven dwarfs.

XVIII. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink lots of it.

XIX. I have a great smile, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

XX. I sometimes watch porn. Nothing to be ashamed of.

XXI. I meditate. Not as much as I used to, or want to, but I do, and I like it. As a matter of fact, I love it and recommend it to everyone. It works, if you let it. It can do wonders for the body, mind and soul.

XXII. I have an unhealthy obsession with the female body. Maybe it's just natural, but I like girls a lot! Looking, touching, pleasing... hello ladies!

XXIII. The last four movies I watched were the best I have seen in a long time: Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire, The Wrestler, Gran Torino.

XXIV. My three dream jobs are: (1) an Anthropologist, (2) a pornstar, (3) a horse trainer.

XXV. My one true goal in life is to leave an impression, make an impact, and/or have an affect on every person I meet, while learning something from each of those people. I love life.

Recession Suggestion Hour

Some of my simple tips and suggestions to pinch the penny without cramping your style during the recession. Let's start with the least degrading ones...

Not that anyone pays for music any more, but if you do, buy vinyl. You'll get a cool record (possibly a future collectors item) and you almost always get the digital download code. An LP is usually about the same price as an album on itunes or elsewhere, and it's like getting two things for the price of one.

Bring a flask to the bar. Don't pay four dollars for a six ounce rum and coke that is more ice than rum OR coke. Soft drinks are usually free or cheap at most bars, and come in larger sizes. A typical flask will supply you with enough hard liquor for 3-4 strong drinks and leave you with a pocket full of cash.

Recycle stamps. Years before the USPS, I invented the real "forever" stamp. Rip 'em off that junk mail and slap 'em back on with a glue stick. Haven't paid for postage since '99.

The old standby, save water and shower with a friend.

Get a job at Subway or similar food place where you can eat for free.

If you're willing to sink a little deeper, give the following a try...


Recycle aluminum cans. At my place we go through aluminum like water (probably faster actually) and recycling centers pay decent for your old cans. We brought three large trash bags of crushed cans and had enough for a case of beer... beer in cans, that goes straight back to the recycling collection!

Don't be a sucker and waste money in the theaters, just download movies. If you must go to the theater, pay for one movie and sneak into another two or three... and bring your own snacks.

Check out the craigslist free stuff ads for items you can relist on ebay.

Stock up on silverware/condiments/napkins at the local Wendy's. Plastic sporks mean less dishes! Who cares if you're not "being green", you're saving it.

If you order in, NEVER pay full price. Use coupons if/when available, and better yet, find something to call and complain about: slow delivery, wrong ingredients, whatever you can pick out. Nine times out of ten your meal will be comped, discounted or you'll get some sort of credit.

For us true degenerates...

You can even save money at the track, and better yet, possibly make some! Create a "show parlay." Take two bucks and place a show bet on the favorite in the first race. Chances are it will pay, not much, but you'll probably have a winner. Take your minimal earnings (plus the original two dollars) and put that money (again, to show) on the favorite in the next race. Keep doing so until you lose. You're playing the odds, but you could walk away with ten times what you started with. You have interest in every race and the worst you can do is walk away without the two dollars you started with.

Use the overdraft protection on your checking account as a short-term line of credit.

Sell your expired prescriptions to the junkie on the corner.

Go through the corn flakes box and look for pieces resembling Jesus or the Virgin Mary. Sell on ebay for mucho profit. It's capitalism meets Christianity!

Buy a bunch of cookies from Sam's club or Costco (where you can get a lot for cheap) and stake out the Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of grocery stores and whatnot. Make up a cause and sell the cookies for a buck less per box than the little brats.

And finally, some recession-proof jobs that require little to no education...

drug dealer
cop
prostitute
bartender/liquor store employee (fact: the broker people get the more they drink)
economist (I really don't think these assholes are educated)
professional athlete
starving artist/musician/actor (if you prefer not to eat)
loan shark
suicide hotline operator


It may be time for change, but eight years is a lot to recover from. If I learned anything in Econ, it's that printing a bunch more cash (or as it's coined in fancy Economists language, "bailout") only causes further inflation. I'm all for free money, but if it's going to cost me three days pay to buy a loaf of bread, I'm moving to Canada. Time to start drinking Labbat Blue and working on my "eh's."

Out with the old...

Just a few photos I cam across on CNN that speak a thousand words...


The new VP chats with his predecessor (note the cane and wheelchair)


Never been so happy to say goodbye to Bush.

Inauguration Day thus far...

I couldn't sleep last night. It was like Christmas Eve. I streamed WGN radio and listened to Steve and Johnnie simulcast with a Scottish radio station. Both programs were taking phone calls from listeners. It was amazing to hear such a positive reaction to this Change from our friends across the pond.

I took my lunch break at 11 this morning and streamed Obama's speech over my cell phone, compliments of ABC's VCast channel. I love technology! I was very impressed by his speech, and loved the fact that the crowd of millions on the Mall roared in excitement as George W. Bush's helicopter left the nation's capital!

The sobering part of the celebration came when Senator Ted Kennedy was taken by ambulance from the Inaugural luncheon after suffering an apparent seizure. I guess it wouldn't be a historic day in American politics without the fall of a Kennedy. Latest word is that Senator Kennedy is conscious and alert, receiving care from D.C. doctors. The Senator was looking good upon arrival earlier in the day, so let's hope this was just a hiccup.

One more little tidbit I just heard on 720 - an 80 year old woman traveled from Alabama to Chicago to watch today's events unfold with her family. She said that today, "was the best day of my life."

Knowmore Years

Did anyone know that the year 2000 was designated by the United Nations as the International Year for the Culture of Peace? Probably not, considering our culture has been at war every year since...

Two things will forever linger in my mind about that week: American flags were the bread and butter of the hardware store I worked at and the suburban sky never sounded so empty.

Eight years, seven jobs, six homes, five cities, four schools, three cars, two step-parents and one President later...

I'm ready for Change.

Inaugural Fever

In lieu of sharing a dozen or more posts on facebook, I've compiled a master list of Obama-related material. I will update as necessary. Feel free to add your Obama/Inauguration findings.



It's LegObama! See an entire slideshow of Legoland's Inauguration display here.


Gambling on politics is nothing new to me, but I have not seen odds on things quite this obscure. The Swedish betting site Betsson has put odds on words Obama might say in his inauguration speech. From the obvious; "United States" (1.01/1), "change" (1.03/1) and "economy" (1.05/1), to the less likely; "puppy" (5/1), "McCain", "Martin Luther King" and "New Deal" all at 10/1 odds. Seriously, "puppy" over "McCain"? For the real longshots, listen up for "Doyle Brunson", "fuck off" and "Peru" which are all currently at 1000/1. I personally like "axis of evil" at 666/1 and the Chihuahua for the selection of the first puppy at 15/1. For the complete list visit Betsson.



Yo quiero casa blanco!


"So help me god..." is not available for betting at Betsson. Probably because it's part of the oath each president-elect must take, with one hand on the bible. But this could all change if the atheists get there way... read more here.

The Chicago Tribune reports that Governor Blagojevich will not be attending the Inauguration Tuesday. Turns out he sold his seats to the highest bidder...


You think these seats are good? I got a pair front row, center, right next to Oprah!


For all of you iphone geeks out there, who prefer to watch historic events on a two inch screen, good news - find out how to stream the Inauguration between phone calls.

I've also added a 40 terabyte hard drive for my porn collection!

Weekend Potpourri!

Bust out the beach gear, the mercury is rising! Saturday promises highs in the mid 20's in the Chicago area, but since the pools aren't open yet I'll be hitting up Circuit City in search of some deals. The company's remaining 567 stores will close, leaving 30,000 unemployed. But the liquidation sale starts Saturday and run through the end of March. The Feds need to send out another round of stimulus checks we can blow on CDs, DVDs and plasma screens!

If you're like me and have no money to waste on electronics, but still want something fun to do this weekend, I have a few suggestions for you:



The annual Cubs Convention kicks off today at the Chicago Hilton. I know it's sold out, but having went a couple years back, I can tell you that the ticketing system is a joke. They give you badges on lanyards that have some sort of logo on them. There was no one checking badges at the door - probably because regular hotel guests use the same entrance as convention-goers. If you want some added assurance, turn on WGN news and find out what the badges look like. Print off some fake ones at home tonight and head downtown tomorrow. Oh and say hi to Ronnie for me!

Movies you should go see (or illegally download)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (my rating 3.5/5)
In case you haven't heard, it's a Forrest Gump like tale starring Brad Pitt as a man who ages in reverse.

The Wrestler (4/5)
Mickey Rourke is oscar-awesome in this. Plus Marissa Tomei shows of the goods, again. If you were a WWF fan as a kid, even better! (Spoiler alert - wrestling is fake) Oh, and the new Bruce song in the end credits is fantastic!

Slumdog Millionaire (4.5/5)
India + Who Wants to be a Millionaire + Danny Boyle = best film I have seen in a long time. It's Boyle meets Bollywood in this story of a young man who is arrested on suspicion of cheating in the Indian version of the popular gameshow. Very refreshing film. Again, stick around for the end credits...

I haven't seen it yet, but next on the list is Gran Torino. Anything with Clint Eastwood holding a gun, stating "get off my lawn," seems worthwhile to me.



If a movie ticket is out of your price range, and illegal downloads are not your thing, you'll probably be spending the weekend in front of the TV or online. Check out the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks for a good laugh or twelve. Should you need a break from porn, check out this crazy video of WGN radio's morning host, John Williams doing a little science experiment in the cold.
TV is all sports this weekend! Hawks game tonight and basketball all day tomorrow. Sunday's NFL games should be pretty entertaining. I'll be working, but my money is on the underdogs (with the point spreads): Arizona (+4.5) and Baltimore (+6). If you want the safer gamble go for Philly and Pittsburgh, straight up. Bet for free @ centsports.com

Stay warm everybody, and watch for flying geese!