Thursday, November 27, 2008

Despite no-shows, delayed start, TTV a success

Bartlett, IL

Another change of venue came to this years' Turkey Tourney, and with it brought much anticipated fun along with a hint of drama.

The fifth annual event, hosted at Brad's house in Bartlett, drew a crowd of well over 32 - the number of competitors participating. However, the original 32 scheduled entrants did not all compete. A handful did not show, some left early while others found lame excuses to not be there. Fortunately, Mariokart fans were in abundance among the guests, and replacing the lamers was of very little difficulty for the events' organizers.

As has been the case the past four years, the first race did not go off until approximately an hour after scheduled. This sparked some controversy among participants and spectators alike.

"I have to leave by like 11:30 guys, I have to wash my hair. Can we start this thing?" muttered an angry fan of the odds-on favorite, Jim Bryski.

Jim himself was also in somewhat of a hurry to get started. Apparently he also had hair to wash. Others were simply eager to finish the racing and get to the post-race festivities.

The first round went as expected, with nearly all of the favorites advancing on. Round two produced varying results, with another heavy favorite having to forfeit his spot in order to, "meet up with some friends," an excuse used far too often from the younger of the Wvavczcak borthers. The semi-finals are where things started to get riled up a bit. With Noah, Bill, and Adam all eliminated, Mike's forfeit, and a slew of newcomers to stir things up, the finals were setting up well.

Of the four finalists, three were previous champs; Bryski, looking for a repeat, Brad, seeking revenge, and Kevin, who needs an ego boost like he needs another cameo in a Batman movie. Karters were somewhat surprised by the fourth final, young Joshua Curtis, an avid gamer but only second time participant in the Tourney.

"I like to set goals for myself that I know I can't achieve, and then shock with world!" Josh exclaimed in a pre-race interview.

The finals, which included races from the Special Cup, were an intense fifteen minutes of Mariokart. Bryski looked good, but not good enough in the first race. The newbie Josh looked to be Bryski's most serious threat going into Bowser's Castle. Headed into Rainbow Road, the Golden Baster was still in the reach of all four racers. But Bryski took an early lead and never looked back. Brad looked to play spoiler, racing in reverse the final lap and throwing shells towards the focused front-runner. His efforts were in vain however, as Jim finished nearly ten seconds ahead of his biggest threat, Josh, taking home back-to-back honors. He was also the first racer to ever take home two trophies in TT history.

Josh finished second overall, followed by Kevin and the bitter Bradley.

In unsportsmanlike fashion, Jim the victor fled the scene prior to the awards ceremony. He was booed and heckled by fans and the competition as he ran like a girly man, away from the house. Commissioner Brokamp has received inquiries as to the status of his victory. Some have suggested an asterisks be placed aside his name in the Hall of Fame. Official word regarding the issue is pending.

The Champagne did flow, partially in celebration, partially in spite of the races. In the end, good times were had by all, and few casualties were reported. (Animals were harmed in the making of the event.)

The event was captured on film by student, Bill Douglas, who hopes to piece together the footage and broadcast online very soon.

The commissioner was unavailable for comment following the event, and Jim Bryski has not returned our phone calls. His attorney has spoken on his behalf, calling him, "a little bitch... err, um I mean, no comment."