Sunday, February 8, 2009

the Grammys suck!

First of all, in case you're an aspiring rap artist, let me give you a few tips on how to win a Grammy: wear sunglasses indoors at all times, a goofy hat also helps, and bitch about how you have not won enough awards as often as possible.

Kanye, you're a big jackass. Just hand out the award and keep your "I should have this award" comment to yourself. We all know how great you are and how large your ego is. Oh, and you're not Michael Jackson either.

Word up, Jonas! Stevie is not the fourth Jonas brother. And if you're going to perform with a legend, LEARN THE LYRICS for crying out loud.

Apparently, everyone is friends with everyone in the music industry. Sugarland and Adele are best buds, I had no clue! Even big time Hollywood actors (namely Samuel L. Jackson) hang out with artists like Justin Timberlake! Every presenter made mention of his or her "buddy," "friend," or "good pal." Annoying (yes, I'm jealous).

Does anybody know what was up with the glove on Morgan Freiman's left hand? I'm still looking for a photo, but dude had a black glove on his hand while introducing "his good friend" Justin Timberlake.

Since when did LeAnn Rimes get so nasty? Maybe it's just the crazy MILF action of Sheryl Crow standing next to her that makes her look bad.

Speaking of hotties, Carrie Underwood is one. Just take a look:

Maybe she and Katy Perry can hook up. That would be fantastic, unlike Katy's performance. Oh, and pay special attention to the Asian chick making fun of herself in this photo:

My least favorite part of the night, a two-way tie: when MIA didn't go into labor on stage...

...and when Niel Diamond performed. He sounded like William Shatner. "Touch-ing, me. Touch-ing, you."

Two highlights, the artists with actual talent - Plant and Krauss, won big. And backed by the USC marching band, Radiohead gave one hell of a performance.


c. davies said...

i agree with my whole heart.

splinky said...

im glad i didnt need to watch this.. u did a great job summing it up:)
who is this katy perry? i saw her on chelsea lately and had no clue.