Monday, February 23, 2009

HEY! the internet is working again

Well, in lieu (at least for the time being) of PILFS! Of the Week, I will be just plain, old blogging this morning. I blame this on the lack of internet service I seem to be having lately for certain, undisclosed reasons ::cough cough:: online gaming-obsessed roommate :cough cough::

Anyhow, I’m home from work and not tired so I’m listening to some blues and decided to just post one of my infamous, random entries. Strap on those safety belts kids, here we go.

So the Oscars were tonight… well I guess last night… my days and nights are all screwy on this new schedule, that I honestly don’t mind as much as I thought I might. But yeah, the good, old 81st Academy Awards. New format this year: foreign host, and some other stuff I guess. I really only caught the last hour; the important part. Slumdog Millionaire won like 7 or 8 of the ten categories it was nominated in, including Best Director (Danny Boyle) and Best Picture. Pretty excited about that. If you haven’t seen it, do it! Definitely everything and more you could want from a film. Action, hot women, good music, hot women, violence, sex, crime, hot women, the Indian version of Regis… hot women! Well to be fair, I guess it’s just the one GORGEOUS Indian chick. She acts good too. And dances well (see end credits dance scene - also makes the movie that much more awesome). Hot Damn, what a film!

The one disappointment with the Oscars was that Mickey Rourke did not win Best Actor. Dude cried about his dogs to Barbara Walters! What’s a guy gotta do to win a damn Oscar? Jump on Oprah’s couch? Eh, I guess it’s cool that Sean Penn won, only because the first line of his acceptance speech was pretty badass; something alone the lines of Americans being a bunch of commie, homo-lovers. I’ll take it! (And he did give a shoutout to the man who has taken Jack Nicklson’s place as the dude in the front row with sunglasses who the director cuts to for a reaction to everything…

Speaking of which, where was Jack? Probably banging Mickey Rourke’s girlfriend backstage. Good work Jackie boy! Nobody steals your image, especially not a guy who cries about his dogs, pshhh!

But yeah, overall, the Oscars were not half bad. I mean, aside from the usual suspects from the Mickey Mouse Club showing up (Miley Cyrus, Vanessa Hudgens and her douche bag boyfriend). Seriously, if anyone of them gets nominated for anything more than a Kid’s or People’s choice award in my lifetime, I’ll kill myself on Oprah’s couch.

One last rant and one last rave about the Oscars before moving on:

RANT: “The Wrestler” (Bruce Springsteen) from the film of the same title, should most definitely been nominated in the Best Song category. I mean, “Jai Ho” was awesome, and I would probably choose it over the former, but for real, when you have five open spots, why not fill them up? Especially since it’s the best track from the new Bruce album… maybe I’m missing something.

RAVE: Jerry Lewis was awesome. He gave one hell of an acceptance speech. Though I heard he went straight back to a wheelchair backstage after receiving the award…? Poor guy.
Oh wait! One more rave. That Asian dude who won the Foreign Language category: you were awesome, Sank You! Sank You! Sank You!

Ok, so what else? Well, my Joe Pug interview should be up on HEAVE this week! I’ll let y’all know when, but that should not hinder you from checking out the site in the meantime. (Editor’s note: I’m hoping by the time I actually get to copy and paste this entry into the blog, my interview is published.) Butv seriously, check out HEAVE! And check out Joe Pug. He is one hell of a singer/songwriter, and a now my facebook friend! Jealous? You will be after checking out his music. Once I make it big at Rolling Stone (after becoming editor of the News Gazette and eventually governor of the great, corrupt state of Illinois (see previous blog entries), and jump on Oprah’s couch) I’ll look back on my days in Champaign, seeing shows and the Canopy Club, and I’ll remember how I scored an interview with Joe Pug and be like “yeah, I knew Joe before he opened for Bob Dylan at FarmAid 2018...”

Dear John Mellencamp…

Anyhow, back to reality. So, another, non-Oscar related RANT: FML. Up until like a week ago, I would have guessed “FML” was an unpopular men’s magazine. Today, it’s the most reoccurring acronym on my facebook feed, and apparently a popular website. In case you have been sharing the confined space under the rock where I live, “FML” means “Fuck My Life.” As in, “I partied ALL weekend and just realized it’s Sunday at 11:30 PM and I have three papers due tomorrow and an exam at 6 AM! FML!!!!”

Don’t EVEN!

Fuck MY life assholes! Excuse the vulgarity, but for serious!?! If my internet was up I would give you an idea of how ridiculous some of these “FML’s” were. I would supply you with an example, but I’m pretty sure if you type the three letters into Google, you can pull up the stupid site. Don’t get me wrong, some are funny, and a handful of the FMLers have my pity, but I think just the phrase alone is enough to piss me off. The fact that you caught your roommate in a threesome with two of your ex’s on your bed is your problem, not mine, nor the rest of the worlds! FYL is more like it (fuck you loser). Chances are, you deserved it fratboy.

Wow, RANTS and RAVES might have to become a new weekly update on the blog. I’m not sure how I feel about how organized this blog may or may not becoming.

Anyhow, I’m STILL not connected to the internet. How many games of WoW does this fuck have to play? (note to self: future blog rant - World of Warcraft)
I’ll know it’s safe to return to the intraweb when I hear said fuck making his eggs and broccoli.
Grad students are weird.

Bye for now.
Peace out Blogfans and Brohams!