Friday, February 27, 2009

One of the most awesome and terrifying experiences of my life

I had a lucid dream yesterday. I'm pretty sure it was the first real lucid dream I have ever had. And it rocked. Well, at first, then it scared me to death. But it was still pretty cool.

If you're unfamiliar (and too lazy to click the link to Wikipedia), a lucid dream is considered a conscious dream; you're basically aware of what's going on in the dream, everything is very vivid and you can manipulate the experience to varying degrees. It's more than just a really memorable or vivid dream, which I've had in the past. This was different, in the sense that I felt like I woke up from the dream while still dreaming (known as false awakening or a "dream within a dream").

I'm not sure what to attribute this to. I suppose it could have something to do with my medication adjustments, or the new sleep schedule I'm on, or a combination of both. I typically sleep when I get home from work (after blogging or facebooking of course) around 7AM. That was the case yesterday. Woke up around 3PM, did some stuff, came home, ate, and then found myself bored and with nothing to do, so I laid down for a bit. My door was shut but there was music playing in the other room, loud enough for me to hear, and voices from downstairs. Within about ten minutes I came close to passing out when my phone beeped and woke me back up. After checking the text and replying I laid back down and closed my eyes. Before I knew it I was in a dream (although I didn't really know it at the time).

First thing I can recall now is that I was walking around my apartment looking for something. I ended up going outside, and I remember being very anxious or apprehensive for some reason. Even then I didn't know why. After pacing around the balcony for a bit I realized I was alone in the building. Then I began to levitate...
I gained composure and then realized I could jump really high, off walls and stuff, almost like flying, almost. I jumped off the walls all the way to the bottom floor and back up again. I was tempted to try to just glide down to the bottom but didn't want to risk it.

There is some empty space here, but the next portion I recall is feeling very alone and still being very anxious and worried about something. I again was still looking for something. I finally (still in the dream) decided to go to sleep and maybe I would feel better. This is where it gets weird - try to follow. I woke up from a dream (in the dream) and felt a little better. I went back downstairs and was trying to talk to my roommates about the dream (the first one) but they didn't want to listen to me - it's like I was a ghost or something. So I got pissed and decided to go jump off walls again.

I remember leaving the complex and going somewhere. I just remember partying with a few different groups of people and making out with model-type women. I came back at least a couple of "dream hours" later and was all muddy or dirty from working somewhere. (Maybe just feeling "dirty" from all the hard-core making out with models or maybe more fogginess.) But once I jumped up a few flights of stairs again (after the models, best part of the dream!)

I walked into my apartment (which only slightly resembled my apartment on the inside) where a bunch of out-of-town friends and family had showed up. But not for me! They were all giving me a hard time for "not letting them know" they could stay with me. But I didn't even know they were coming. The best I can imagine is that it was for a basketball game or something, but the combination of people was just odd. There was some party going on at my place, but I seemed to be more like part of the background than anything. I just wanted to go back to party with the ladies...

I was still nervous.
I could still "fly."
I was still looking for something.
I was very confused. I went upstairs to my room which was organized differently that usual. I thought I still must be dreaming (dream within a dream). So I tried to wake myself up, and I wish I could remember how, but I don't. Whatever it was, it worked. Because suddenly the room was arranged the way it should have been. I felt safe again, for awhile.

I am missing most of the details from this next part, but I know that the party going on in my place was not going so well. Something happened that caused an uproar - something to do with drugs I think. Maybe the cops showed up, or some angry dealers or something, don't know. But at this point I remember freaking out, having like a panic attack so bad it turned into a seizure. I think I would have gone into a sleep paralysis (which I've had before - not quite as cool, more scary) if it were not for my real cell phone, in real life, bringing me back to reality.

And this all happened in the course of less than an hour. I want to experience this again. I have come close before, taking naps in the late afternoon or evening where I'm not quite fully asleep, but nothing as cool as this. It was like some sort of high.

This stuff just really intrigues me too. Like I said, the sleep paralysis thing I have had before, and best I can figure out is that it has something to do with my anxiety/panic attacks. While it is scary, it's also very interesting. My doctor had never even heard of it! I guess it's not very prevalent in our culture or among Caucasians, so I guess I'm a rare case.

If anybody wants to share similar experiences or has anything to add, suggest, etc., please do! It sounds like you can condition yourself into having lucid dreams on a regular basis, so I'm going to continue to look into it, and should anything come of it, I'll be sure to share.

Sweet Dreams!


c. davies said...

when i was in the hospital, all drugged out on morphine, i had about seven dreams like this. or maybe they were drugs trips.
anyway, the first one immediately after waking up was that my walls were made of sliced turkey meat. the next was that there was carpeted amphitheater style seating in the room i was in. then the cast of wings joined me, get this, on a train that was my room.
then i had the dream that i could jump about 250 yards high and 500 yards long at a time. i jumped from the middle of nowhere (some truckstop mini-mall or something) back to my home, that really wasn't my home. then i went across the street to my high school and there was a soccer game going on in the giant canyon behind the school. so i climbed sideways along the walls to avoid being seen and went back into the high school which had a hospital on the top floor. enter consciousness.
best dreams of my life because they felt so real.