only to dream part one

they must need fixing
my curiosity clouds my judgment
so very cold, or seemingly so
racing thoughts make my head warm
my warmth will battle the cold

like turning magnets
the feelings come and go
the reactions, likewise
something, or nothing
more confusion, but quite intoxicating
it overtakes my ego

i beg for words to describe
nothing comes
only pure, raw emotion
yet it comforts me

all i have now is time
yet, my worst enemy
like a metronome, it mocks me
and its steady rhythm, so hypnotic

the fresh scent, like lemonade on a hot day
sends me into trance
my senses have taken complete control
my actions paralyzed by my thoughts
words cannot even come
i am frozen, though the clock ticks away

i make a poor attempt
a hail mary in a cloud of smoke
my mind out of focus entirely
blindly i aim high
my aimless attempts yield nothing

i assumed destruction
but instead just nothingness
a question unanswered
a feeling, still numb
a mystery still unsolved