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what do you do when the words dont come?
(writers block again)
i guess my long hiatus from creativity, followed by this sudden explosion - a need, almost an addiction to self-expression - has rendered me incredibly conscious of my placing in the creative stream. i fall into ruts (this one, seemingly short and lacking significance) and hit highs where i can just write, write and write for days. unfortunately my human body does not allow me to do so, but i feel that i could. i almost have to pry myself from my keyboard sometimes.

it all kinda seems pointless though. i mean, it's just a freaking blog. but then again, it's kind of like practice, or training. its like working out the mind a bit - more comparable to a light jog jog than a five-mile run.
i hate to do it, but lets take Micheal Phelps- swimmer extraordinaire! Does his skill come entirely natural to him? No, of course not. Obviously the man trains, hardcore. So is it all in the effort, the routine, the diet, the regimented lifestyle? Well, we know that can't be it either. I mean, come on! Mother fucker had a DUI before he was even 21 (I think...). So dudeman knows how to incorporate fun into his "regimented" lifestyle. The same goes for any athlete, I suppose.
But what about with other skills?

S. King once stated, "if you don’t have 8 hours a day to either read or write and you aren’t working in an office or on a construction crew, then you aren’t taking it seriously."

I believe in discipline, though I am not a huge fan, I respect it. It just reminds me of Army and whatnot. I just feel bound to something that is not my choice if I subscribe to discipline. I can handle it in small doses, and even large doses if it's something fulfilling. Like this blog, I know it's not much, but I stick with it. Granted, I may not write in it on a "regular" basis, I do take care of it. (Though it may be taking better care of me.)
I suppose this whole dilemma is what has sparked the idea of a second major - creative writing. Discipline, but unrestricted discipline. (That's a goddamn oxymoron.)

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." ~Ray Bradbury

...but the sun always rises, Ray.

Reality can be so destructive. I know that's not the subject of Ray's quote, but a side thought. Probably blog about this later.

Or maybe a bit now... (reality to writing though)
During my bathroom break I had a slight epiphany/brainstorm:

Is this blog/my writing in general, an acceptance of reality, or rejecting or avoiding it?

Maybe a little bit of both. Long term acceptance, but short term relief.

The fact that I'm starting to not make sense again makes we think I should stop here. How lame. Maybe I'll pick it back up in a bit but adios for now amigos!
Ole!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Commie!